sunburnt wheatgrass

This last week had a few milestones in our family and girls’ lives. The girls ended their first year of school and we could not have asked for a better first experience of school. They already miss their teachers, classrooms, learning circles, workbooks and friends so much. Here’s a photo from when we picked them up on the last day:

While at my brother-in-law’s master’s graduation in LA Ennyn asked for some paper to draw and write. Like me, she talks to herself as she works and I left her to her paper and pencil. Many minutes later she called out to me to show me what she had done. Looking over she explained that she wrote everyone’s names in the family. When I asked her how she knew to spell Daddy and Mom, she replied with that little girl know-it-all tone of voice, “Mommy, I just sounded it out.” Take a look:

Finally, take a close look at Enna’s new smile:

I think we’re ready for summer!

Our girls have always shared a room but never a bed. Even on the rare occasion when we’ve stayed at hotels, the kids divvy up with the parents. A couple nights ago after a premarital counseling session, I went up to check on the girls before myself getting ready for bed. This is what I saw:

Enna, on the top of the picture, had crawled into her little sister’s bed, joining Nellie cat (far right in grey), and a little stuffed leopard (right in the middle). This was the best picture we could take since it was dark, but it was surprisingly one of the most joyous things I’ve seen in quite a while. Never having a sister myself I often heard of sisters sharing a bed, giggling and talking, experiencing a bond that is so special and unique. It’s one of those few pictures a mom find herself going back to time and time again, especially during those other times of intense fighting.

The next night the girls wanted to go to bed together and we let them. It’s not surprising how it ended – after a half hour of giggling, trading places, tickling, talking, they fell asleep on their own beds. One of my hopes for my girls as they keep sharing a room together is that they’ll learn to share life together, recognizing and growing in that bond that only sisters can share.

Yesterday ended the annual May birthday week for the Chiu family. Beginning last Tuesday (as it should) with mine, Ennyn woke up asking, “Mommy, what time does your birthday start?” After attempting several times to answer with “right now” or “today” only to see her frustration grow at me not understanding, we finally figured out that our little extrovert and party-girl was asking when the party would be. Since I’m not the kind to like big parties with me as the focus we hadn’t planned one, but apparently needed to now.

It was the first time in five years that Yucan and I could celebrate each of our birthdays, a week apart, kid-free during the day. We enjoyed the quietness and stillness or uninterrupted conversation, time and space as we walked around different parts of San Diego and ate a birthday meal. While we knew our girls would be jealous or want to come along but couldn’t because of school, we reminded them that mommys and daddys need time together in order for families to be strong and them to be even happier.

My birthday overlooking the ocean at Solana Beach

Of course, as adults and parents, the focus of the week was on Enna’s 5th birthday. This was the first year we actually had a party and held it at the local park, inviting all her circles of friends from neighbors, playgroup and church to classmates and karate friends. We bought clay flowerpots, seeds and brought soil and markers for kids to decorate pots and plant seed as party favors. We booked a bounce house with a slide that was a hit for both old and young, including my 60-something father.

Grandpa Ho in his first ever bounce house.

My parents ordered an Asian-style baker-sized cake (lighter and with fresh cream for frosting), packed it in ice and drove it down four hours from Bakersfield. The things grandparents do for their only grand kids!

Birthday girl and her cake

Happy girl eating "happy cake"

Ennyn - our crazy little party girl.

Here’s to another year…

Last weekend Ennyn, our 3-year-old, hit a major milestone in any girl’s life; she finally ate her first ever chocolate chip cookie. Yes, at age 3. Those of you that know Ennyn know that she will eat anything except for two items: raw tomatoes and chocolate. I have never met a little girl that didn’t like chocolate.

It all began a couple years ago when we took a family trip to Vancouver, Canada for a cousin’s wedding. Ennyn was 15-months old and on a cold spring day we stopped by a coffee shop for a special treat. Enna clamored for hot cocoa and we split a cup between the two girls. This would be Ennyn’s first taste of chocolate and Yucan and debated on who would take the picture and who would get to be in the picture with her. A momentous occasion it was.

While I crouched down and positioned myself with the camera, receiving directions from Yucan on all those special lighting things, Ennyn took the cup in both hands and used her mouth to find the straw. Taking a big sip I clicked only to see hot cocoa come dribbling out her mouth. She spit all of it out and asked for “normal milk.” Ever since then she has refused to eat chocolate, picking them out of cookies and ice cream. Finally discovering that it wasn’t worth the effort to pick out chocolate she simply chose to forgo anything that had chocolate in it.

Last Friday at Whole Foods I discovered their loaded vegan chocolate chip cookies and decided to try it. It tasted nothing like chocolate, much less a chocolate chip cookie. Not that I’m against vegan desserts; on the contrary, I love them, but I don’t like my chocolate to be messed with. Picking her up from school I excitedly told Ennyn that I had found a different kind of chocolate and asked if she’d try it. Seeing all those chocolate chips her hesitation was so visible, but I convinced her to take a little bite and waited.

“MMMM. I like it!” The verdict is in and her new declaration is, “I only like vegan chocolate!” My job is done.

The current class I’m taking is focused on organizational change and how to lead and manage it within education and all its complexity. We’ve analyzed and compared various models and theories, researched current applications and discussed the implementation in various settings. We’ve had lively discussions on the degree of anticipatory or reactive change within education and expressed frustration over the many current issues of educational change. My thoughts have been dominated by all things related to change.

After a swamped week I took this morning off to read at this little quaint music library in downtown La Jolla. Sitting in a circular reading room in the middle of the sun’s rays and next to an open window, I read my all time favorite book that always speaks to my innermost need of restoration and rest: Eugene Peterson’s “Leap Over A Wall: Reflections on the Life of David.” I was struck by the following in reflection of 2 Samuel 5:

“When we grow – in contrast to merely change – we venture into new territory and include more people in our lives – serve more and love more. Our culture is filled with change; it’s poor in growth. New things, models, developments, opportunities are announced, breathlessly, ever hour. But instead of becoming ingredients in a long and wise growth, they simply replace. … God’s way is growth, not change. Organic is a key image: Nothing from our past is thrown out with the garbage; it’s all composted and assimilated into a growing life. It isn’t imposed from without. It isn’t monitored and regulated by a religious bureaucracy. The gospel life isn’t something we learn about and then put together with instructions from the manufacturer; it’s something we become as God does his work of creation and salvation in us and as we accustom ourselves to a life of belief, obedience and prayer.”

In my personal life, doctoral life, and professional life I think about change and how I want to change myself, my look, my actions, educational policy, school curriculum. Often times the reasons are rooted in dissatisfaction, or a reaction, or because it’s time to, or just because, but rarely due to a desire for growth. Changing is something I do rather than something I consciously use to become something more.

But if we see change as a catalyst for growth and define growth as Peterson does with the Hebrew phrase of “halok v’gadol,” translated to mean “a longer stride and a longer embrace,” there are other questions we should always ask in the midst of any kind of change. What growth will this produce in me? It’s not a selfish question or a self-centered focus. It’s ultimately a God question and a question about living in a way that responds to Him with our hearts rather than our doings.

Back in the beginning of January, after the celebratory holidays wound down, we asked Ennyn what she wanted to do for her 3rd birthday. Anticipating a response of the park or Sea World, we were thrown by her momentary pause and then an excited one word answer, “CAMPING!” As we waited it out for a few days to see if it was a passing thought, it soon became apparent by her persistent questioning, “Are we going camping today?” that she was serious.

Being camping enthusiasts ourselves we made a group reservation for Anza Borrego, a dessert national park north east of San Diego, and asked Ennyn who she wanted to invite. Not surprisingly she made her own guest list. Somewhat surprisingly was who was on that guest list – all adults from Ethnos and mostly couples. She seemed to have a knowing sense of who would enjoy this trip with her and so fourteen others eagerly pitched in and joined us. Here she is helping to put up a tent with our neighbor and (her) good friend, Mark.

An early morning view of our campsite. Our tent is the one just behind that big plant on the left.

The weather was perfect and conditions were ideal. Only a light jacket was needed at night and the campfire pit big enough for all of us to sit around. We had planned and encouraged the girls to nap on the drive over so that they could stay up late and enjoy the campfire. By 7:20pm Ennyn began her “I want to go to sleep” chant and Enna could not stop yawning. They were sound asleep before 8pm.

Monday morning we took a 1.5 mile hike and climb to a little oasis area where the girls put on swim shorts and splashed around. It was a perfect hike with room to explore and climb for those wanting more of a challenge. Surprisingly, Enna hiked herself the entire way in and out for a total of 3 miles.

The photo below is at the start of the hike, although it was taken at the end. The map shows the hike and how far our big four year old hiked. Ennyn doesn’t quite have those nimble hiking feet yet for trails that have lots of rocks to climb. She spent most of the way there on my back and fell asleep on Yucan’s for the way back.

An interesting beginning to this trip was our discovery 70 miles into the drive that our duffel bag was still in our bedroom and not in the car. Since it was a one night trip we didn’t really need stuff for us grown-ups, but it was packed with the girls’ changes of clothes. Fortunately the weather was perfect and the girl were unfazed at wearing, sleeping, hiking and riding home in the same clothes that progressively grew dirtier and dustier and stained.

We’re already planning our next camping trip at the end of March over the girls’ Spring break, the week before Easter. Anyone in?

Last Friday was our first experience at our girls’ Open House, a celebration of its own in its very own way. We treasure these moments when Open House is still exciting and fun, a place for our girls to show off all that they do, masters in their element, knowing that in the distant yet near future Open House will take on a different meaning for them. As talkative as our girls can be, for some reason our girls are rather reticent when it comes to sharing about all things school related. Even though they are 3 and 4, it seems like they are 13 and 14 with their terse one word answers of “nothing,” “fine,” and “good.”

Parking our car a block away from the school the girls could barely contain their excitement as we made the “long” walk to the school’s entrance. Halfway there I heard another kid yelling out from across the street, “Ennyn, Ennyn! HI ENNYN!” As extroverted as Ennyn is, she’s never told us about her classmates, preferring instead to play with the older kids at recess. Turning around I see a little boy I’ve never met waving at my daughter as he calls her name again. He’s wearing jeans and a button-up shirt that’s partially untucked with a casual khaki jacket and a trendy cap. I ask Ennyn who that is and she replies ever so nonchalantly, “That’s Jordan.”

Following him are his parents, who after catching up to us say, “Oh, this is Ennyn. We’ve heard so much about her. Jordan talks about her all the time.” Ennyn’s never mentioned Jordan and I’m not sure how to respond. Fortunately it never hurts to just compliment the other kid.

Hmmm. My insides can decide between the conflicted feelings of cuteness and disdain. On one hand it was cute to see this social exchange between two 3-year olds, and a cute little trendy boy calling out Ennyn’s name in that exited little kid tone. On the other hand, a boy is calling out after my daughter and it doesn’t matter how old he or she is. A part of my mind flashes forward to a time coming sooner than I want of this same scenario but with awkward pre-teens, nervous laughter, and too much Axe body spray.

But I digress! We spend an hour and a half going back and forth between our girls’ classes, watching them show us everything. Enna had just learned how to tie a bow and subsequently tie laces.

Ennyn loves sitting in her little class library looking at books and reading the words she can.

And seeing this display was the highlight of the evening. I’m not sure what the prompt was, the date is in January, and Enna never mentioned it but it will get me through the times when our girls want nothing to do with each other.

My baby turned 3 today. My reflective sad moments came yesterday as I saw every action and moment as her last as a two-year-old. I’m convinced that only moms do the “It’s your last time eating breakfast as a 2-year-old…your last time…” while dads like Yucan know better than to say anything but still quietly shake their heads. Still, knowing that Ennyn is the caboose of our family her birthdays really do signal an end to each little era.

At her request I made blue cupcakes for snack time at school, and it only took me two tries to figure it out using natural dye that turned the batter a rather bright blue. While most blue colorings end up some shade of purple I finally found a product online since none were found in any local store.

Following our family tradition the birthday girl got to decide what to eat for dinner (which made me wonder who’d cook on my birthday…). When I asked her last night she responded, “long pasta with meat, bell peppers, carrots and celery.” Easy enough and served on our “You Are Special Today” plate. After a full but mostly normal day, she was exhausted, hungry and a bit grumpy by the time it was dinner. It’s tough being 3…

Her only other birthday request was to go… camping. Yes, camping. We have been successful in raising outdoorsy girls that love camping and hiking. This request came with a list of people she wanted to come, all of whom are adults and mostly couples. This long weekend, that also happens to be Valentine’s, we and a dozen other good and amazing friends are having a birthday camping trip to Anza Borrego.

To my spirited girl, I love you ever so much and can’t imagine life without you.!

I am a namer, and from as far back as my memory goes, I have always been a namer. In our house today, the piano is Schroder, our two couches Boo and Barry, the mini-van Oikos, and so on. Maybe it’s the lack of siblings close to my age when I was little and my early need for company. Maybe it’s the English teacher side of me that loves to personify. Whatever the case, I can grow attached to things that have a more permanent role in my daily life. This makes saying goodbye slightly harder.

Tomorrow morning we say our final farewell to a 12-year old member of our family – something that knew and served Yucan and I well from the time we were dating. Bullet, the Pathfinder, has been in Yucan’s care, or perhaps has cared for Yucan, since 1998. Bullet chaperoned us on our college dates, trips to everywhere and nowhere, been a practice car for more than a few adults learning how to drive, moved dozens of people and their belongings, and for the first two years of Ethnos carried all the equipment to and from our garage and where we met on Sundays. It has been a part of a lot of drama, not just in our own lives, but in others.

Since moving to a more central area that encompasses most of our lives Yucan has driven increasingly less, biking to most meetings and driving about twice a week. Our friends and partners in Nigeria are in real need for a vehicle like Bullet, and despite being 12-years old he’s in really good condition. I’m already imagining his new life and how much he’ll love taking care of his new people. (Yes, I don’t just name things, I personify their lives too.) Bullet’s 4-wheel drive will actually be used, and he will drive over terrain he was built for. In some ways it seems like he’ll life out a fuller purpose in Nigeria than he ever did here in San Diego. I’ve already learned that all people have God-given and defined purposes in life overall and in each stage. More and more I’m seeing how objects have that sense of purpose too, even if they do not live lives of conscious awareness. As owners we constantly have the choice to use our belongings for ourselves and for others, learning to let them go when they can serve other people or another purpose better. This brings new meaning to the concept of living life to the fullest purpose as oppose to the fullest potential. Our lives marked by Jesus are not about living up to our potential, but about living up to our purpose.

Farewell, Bullet. I hope you enjoy Nigeria, and maybe we’ll see you again the next time we go.

My sister-in-law, Yucan’s sister, and her new husband have seemingly taken it on themselves to continually encourage and foster my girls’ love for Brian Williams, the NBC Nightly News Anchor. If you’re new to this blog, you may need to read some earlier posts on Brian Williams and his two biggest adoring and perhaps youngest fans.  As if it wasn’t already enough that they have a personally autographed photo of him in their room, sit down on the couch almost daily when it’s 5:30 because, “Mommy it’s time for Brian Williams,” or stay in the car to listen to Brian Williams be the guest on NPR’s “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me” (yes, they recognized his voice instantly and even though we had arrived at our destination we sat inside the car for ten more minutes), they tried to meet him at New York’s NBC studio near the end of their honeymoon. Yes, even at the tail-end of their honeymoon they are thinking of our girls…or so they say. Yesterday my sis-in-law sent me a link to a special Brian Williams newscast on the Sesame Street News channel.  We’ve added it to their favorites. Take a look here!

Thanks Mae and Daniel! I’m glad you didn’t cause any trouble trying to stalk a news anchor man in New York.